You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
