I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
