Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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