dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
there's paper in my vomit.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
