Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
