bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
