I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
