Non-Jews are for practice
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
