well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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