So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
