there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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