nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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