No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
