My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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