honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
