Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
