Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
