ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
