He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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