Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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