Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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