I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
