marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
