There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
