I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize