He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think my moral compass just broke
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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