Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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