You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
