let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
