She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
