I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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