It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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