why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
