i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
wow bdsm is so cute
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