there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
