Bisexual people are plain selfish.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize