You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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