i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize