so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Congratulations! We have a period
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
