Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
