its not stalking. its research.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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