if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
