The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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