Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
