I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
