Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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