It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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