Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
