Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
