i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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