I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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