Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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