Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
