Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
