k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize