Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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