i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
