yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
