so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
