theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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