I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
