Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Are we still banned from the library?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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