You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
