This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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