Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
