Im at strip club and am horny
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
