I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
