No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
