haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
