***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
